A Mother's Journal ~ A Bit of Birdsong

I went out yesterday to try and locate the bird that was singing beautifully near my office window.  I did find that sweet bird and zoomed in with my digital camera to get a picture, but — once snapped — the bird was gone.  Apparently it flew away while my eyes were behind the camera trying to zoom in to exactly the right spot.  I missed the bird, but I did like the picture of the beautiful tree branches with newly emerging leaf buds against the bright blue sky we had yesterday.

I’ve been thinking about choices we make.  Sometimes I love my life.  Sometimes I’m not so happy with it, and I don’t like that feeling.  I wax philosophical. 

What made my life what it is?

What if I had married that other fellow?  Where would I be now?  Divorced?  Unhappy? 

Will the cigarette smoke I was exposed to as a child — my parents’ choices — come back to haunt me?  Would I be mad about that?  Would I have the right to be mad about that?

There’s controversy over oils and fats in foods, maybe some that I’ve unwittingly fed to my children today.  What will it lead to tomorrow?  Will they be mad at me?

What if my husband and I had stopped at three children, our three little men?  I would have missed a world of joy and wonder with my little princess of the universe. 

If I had chosen not to go back to work for better insurance so my husband could have his heart procedure, where would we be?  Where would he be? 

I know my husband chooses to keep going and working, even when I know he doesn’t feel like putting one foot in front of the other.  It’s his choice.  I probably cannot, in this life, fully understand the benefits – and the cost — of his sacrifice. 

Choices made define our lives.

This mass of tree branches mirrored the way I’ve been feeling about choices.  You could start from the trunk and choose a branch to follow, tracing out to its end with your eyes, not knowing where you’d end up.  

Life is like that.  I could not have predicted what my life would be like exactly right now.  A few things maybe, but not everything.  Much of it boils down to choices made in reaction to life’s twists and turns — and we all face them.  We all get curve balls and we all make choices in response. 

I want to make careful and wise choices today.  Solomon asked for an understanding heart to discern between good and bad, and then many good things were added to him. 

I want the choices I make today to be the right ones.  I would like to have an understanding heart to discern between good and bad.  It’s not always easy to tell what is good and what is bad, and certainly what something will look like years down the road.

I have to admit that there are times I ponder over choices made and wonder — could I have had exactly what I wanted and still had the same good outcome?  Maybe not.  I had to bend  a little in a direction I did not want to, but it was worth it.  As for most of my choices, I feel good about them.  And I’m glad that I do. 

Lynn