Today is a slow day, and maybe it’s a good thing.  I’ve had that feeling lately that time is getting away from me — like life is moving faster than I can run, and things I want so much to do, I’m not getting done.  It’s a dizzying sort of thing trying to keep up with all one wants to do.

So with a sick daughter and not feeling so great myself, it was a day of reflection and planning.  A day to think of wrapping up a school year and how I feel about life right now. 

I tend to overwhelm myself with wanting things now and worrying that things are not exactly like I’d planned.  Trying to soothe my tired mind yesterday, my husband reminded me of my hundreds and hundreds of years of Scottish ancestry.  He said, literally,

“You’re standing on a mountain top, lassie, looking at the next mountain top.  You need to look at the valley below you.  Remember to look at your feet.”

It’s true.  I do tend to think like that: peer at the next mountain top and forget to enjoy the here and now.  I’m working on it.  I really am.

Within arm’s reach are a dozen things I’m working on.  Garden plans.  Lesson plans.  Health information.  Bible studies.  Letters I want to write.  I ignore all that for now and try to write out all the goals swirling through my mind.  Putting my vision onto paper might help.  (A sweet friend and I talked about doing such a thing recently.  Writing down one’s important visions on paper to bring them to life.)  If I can write down on paper the big things I want to do, perhaps they won’t take up so much space in my ever-more-cluttered mind and I can work on taking steps in a goal-oriented direction each day.

What goes on to my paper today?

• I want my princess of the universe to have more dresses and skirts.
• And she needs cowboy boots.  (Well, I want her to have them, anyway.)
• Seems silly I know, but…
• It’s hard to fit shopping with her into my work schedule.  Sigh.  I need to do better at planning meals and shopping.  That would make everything else go smoother.
• I really want to work through this spelling program I am doing with Joe by the end of this school year.  (It’ll take some work.)
• I want to be diligent in implementing a quiet hour in our home each day with nothing electronic (movies, games, ipods, etc.) in use anywhere.  With four children, ranging in age from 9 to 19, this is easier said than done.  I feel that our family peace is fragmented due to electronics and yet the world is growing ever fuller with them, and children seem victims more than anyone else. 
• I want to plan more field trips and more holiday meals.  Have more traditions in our home.
• I want to complete Joseph’s portfolios for all grades completed.

Oh, there’s more, but those are a few things.  Implementing things takes but planning and following through – things I get overwhelmed with as I stare at the next mountain top. 

It’s funny how when mother sits down, the little ones soon find her.  (But I wouldn’t trade it.)

As far as school lessons, there are some things that get done each day.  They are sort of rote, but there are some things that I know we need to cover before Joe graduates.  I’ve known this for a long time, and we still have not covered them.  We still have not done a study of Shakespeare.  There’s time yet, but I must work it into the plans and then follow through.  I would love to take the entire family to a Shakespeare play.  There are other things I want to work in as well. 

It’s a bit mesmerizing to watch the flame dancing around in this old gas heater.  I watch.  I write.  I think.  My thoughts are punctuated with laughter every so often from the next room.  Here I sit, thinking of downplaying electronics usage, and what’s going on?  Two big brothers went to the rental store to get a Sponge Bob Square Pants video for their sick little sister.

Wasn’t this TV set up for school use?

It’s very sweet that they do things like that for each other.  I’m thankful they love each other like that.  But still.  This kind of silly stuff — in large doses, mind you – can interfere with finer things.

But it’s okay.  I’m a woman with a plan.  I’ve got it all under control. 

I think.  Well, let me take a quick look at my feet.

Lynn