A Mother’s Journal

I left my training today — the second day of it — feeling quite worn.  The single question of how I might make it through the rest of the week was floating around in my mind.  I was able to acknowlege to myself that I wasn’t quite threadbare, but close.

It was absolutely wonderful to come home, and I was thankful to have made it home safely.  After the standard greetings with the children – hugs and kisses and listening to 4th grade tales, supper was put on the table. 

After supper, I retreated to a favorite place…

Gardens give people the tranquility they need in order to figure out the answers to questions they didn’t even know they had. 

I like to leave home — if I have to leave home — feeling well woven, with a good nap, able to handle things.  I accomplished that pretty well yesterday.  I did it less well today.  The days’ events, including meeting so many new people, listening to 8 hours a day of instruction that I’ll need to remember, worrying about the build-up of germs on my hands as I went from one hospital area to another, and preparing my mind for my new job, began to wear down that nap, threatening to show the sometimes unsightly warp that makes up my own foundation. 

Can I be impatient with people and with things?  Yes.  Do I want to be that way tomorrow?  No. 

There are things that need picking up.  They’ll wait.  I think it might be best to just try and relax my mind this evening.  Tomorrow will be another long day. 

Lest I sound ungrateful, I’m not.  I am thrilled to be getting this training.  I’m most thankful for my new job.  The stress might be arising from the fact that I like to do things exactly right and I don’t like to have to burden anyone by not knowing what I’m supposed to know. 

It delighted my tired mind to place one of my older birdbaths on a stump from a tree cut down in the neighborhood last week.

It’s just another day, after all.  I want to end it with gratitude and begin tomorrow with the same frame of mind.  Who wants to go out into the world threadbare?

Lynn