A Mother's Journal » Clarity-2009 Word

A Wintery Morning Stroll

admin — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:47:01 +0000

Winter may be slow getting here but she does finally make it each year! While it’s not nearly as cold here in North Carolina as it is for some of you, the air was frosty this morning and my fingers stung while dipping out food for the bunnies and taking the time to talk to them and check their water bottles (which were a bit frozen, by the way).

Though Annie was pulling on her leash like a prize sled dog, I managed to capture with my camera some of the beautiful pictures the frost had written onto the leaves and flowers.

When cold comes, and even sometimes when dark comes, little flowers bow their heads. It’s a sweet and gentle message to me on this chilly morning.

The mossy green patina on a short mosaic wall caught my eye this morning and beckoned me to stand for awhile. What will I do with this day? As always, there will be many things I could focus on. I certainly need wisdom to choose what is worth my attention and what is not; come evening the day will be gone whether I focused on worthy things or not. It would be nice to have a feeling that I did worthwhile things.

The pinkest of blooms brightens up an otherwise sleeping bed. This time of year I am always torn over stray buds. Cut before they open, they make beautiful additions to potpourri. But left alone in the garden, they are special in a way that says, “leave me right here.” What’s a girl to do?

Perspective

admin — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:21:24 +0000

What is perspective?

One definition is, “the manner in which objects appear to the eye in respect to their relative positions and distance.” Another definition is, “the ability to see all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship. ”

I love looking at my garden as a whole and that’s usually the way I enjoy it.

But the garden as a whole is made up of many layers. I can focus on the pink rose by the birdbath.

Or the Allium (garlic chives) that surround the rose.

At a glance, it’s all pretty, but I know that there are minor problems going on with both plants. The rose tends to get stem-boring pests that need to be addressed at some point. Soon. The garlic chives, though attractive, are growing out of the boundaries I have set for them and need to be thinned. But I’ll let them bloom first.

In my mind, that is perspective. Perspective, in real life, is exactly the same as knowing that it’s okay to simply enjoy the roses today, as long as it’s on my to-do list to check for those pests soon. It’s knowing the garlic chives are not an emergency, but being sure to thin them after they bloom and not to forget about it. I think perspective also includes my planning to thin them on a day when I’ll have the time to pot some up for a friend. They are beautiful, after all.

Perspective, like good judgment, if you seek to have it, leads to all sorts of sound decisions.

Home Perspective, Homeschool Perspective

Just as I wouldn’t try to thin the garlic chives during a thunderstorm, I try very hard not to make decisions about our home or our homeschool when I’m in a less-than-positive frame of mind. Let me be more forthright. If I’m depressed and hormonal and have had a horrible week, it’s probably not the best time to decide whether or not to pay a thousand dollars to put all the children on a regimented, boxed curriculum encompassing all seven (or eight or 10 or 15) subjects! A decision like that can certainly wait a few more days until the clouds clear.

There will be cloudy, thunderstorm days in real life, in our homes and in our homeschools. I have found that a thunderstorm kind of day is a good day to get by the window with a cup of hot tea and a good book and meditate on the garden as a whole. Enjoy its overall beauty. I save rose-repair and garlic-thinning for days when it feels right and when I am in a good frame of mind.

Writing To Gain Perspective

A big part of my life is journaling, including my blog and many hard-cover, bound journals here at home, so I know the power of writing things down. Sometimes a clearer perspective can be gained by just writing down a few thoughts.

I have a business friend who does what she calls a “brain dump.” Each morning she starts her day by scribbling out the copious thoughts running through her mind. They might be just fragments of ideas, or even questions or just errands to do, but after doing this “brain dump” there’s usually one or two very cohesive thoughts or ideas that help her streamline and prioritize her business goals for the day or week. Ever since hearing that, I have kept a section of blank notebook paper in my home/homeschool notebook for dumping out thoughts. It works.

I have another dear friend who has written out where she wants to be in her personal life; her goals and her aspirations. It’s her life plan. Will she get there all in one day? No. But it’s so exciting to hear her talk about each accomplishment that gets her one step closer.

What Am I Talking About?

You may be wondering, what in the world is Lynn rambling about this morning?? (Honestly, sometimes I wonder too.) Actually these thoughts stem from my having to work a few days each week, which leads to juggling, which leads to me feeling like there’s always something not being tended to, especially having one child with dyslexia. On some days it would be so easy for me to cave in emotionally and just throw in the towel, but I have learned to step back, take a deep breath and enjoy the garden as a whole.

I love that my homeschooled children have the freedom many days to enjoy learning what they want to learn. I love that my homeschooled son is totally his own person. I marvel at his ideas, knowing that they came from books he’s read and from an education undertaken completely in our home. Yes, there are weaknesses and gaps, but I don’t have to focus on those every day, all the time, especially since he’s an emotionally grounded young man who exercises obedience and an excellent attitude on a daily basis and who enjoys learning!

What a shame it would be to never enjoy the garden as a whole because I’m too busy looking at flaws and work that needs to be done.

As they say, homeschooling is a marathon and not a sprint.

Go To Where The Blooms Are

If you want to photograph insects, go to where the blooms are. Bear with me. It’s another lesson I’ve learned in my garden.

This is the first year I’ve seen this Euonymus americanus bloom from start to finish. It’s a native tree and it has drawn some insects into the garden that I’m not sure I’ve ever noticed here before.

I love to photograph insects, so I was excited to see the various insects drawn to this tree. The thought came to me again that I’ve always had success in photographing insects when I go to where the blooms are.

Going to where the blooms are is a positive thought. I like it.

Blooms are everywhere.

A freshly-straightened room in the house that you can look at with pride (even if the rest of the house is upsidedown at the moment).
A homeschool meeting with other moms.
A good book that shares the experiences of others, both joyous and difficult.
Teatime with your children.
A great read-aloud, even if, or maybe especially if, all other plans have fallen apart.
Psalms.

This morning during my quiet meditation time I enjoyed reading some in Psalms. I read a little bit in Homeschooling: A Patchwork of Days: Share a Day With 30 Homeschooling Families. I wrote out a few thoughts in my journal.

I was reminded of the very most important things of all. I was encouraged again that all homeschooling families are different and that I’m not trying to do “school at home” but rather to home educate. I jotted down a few little things that I know I’ll enjoy reading at some later time down the road.

Basically, I’m just rambling in my on-line journal and reminding myself to stay encouraged, enjoy the garden as a whole, and to keep going to where the blooms are.

Lynn

Vision

admin — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 13:37:50 +0000

I could have easily chosen Vision for my word of 2009, rather than Clarity, but Vision didn’t occur to me at that time. The word “clarity” was what was in my mind — over and over again – and that’s what I chose. This past week I have found a quote that illustrates very well how I want the word clarity to apply to my life.

Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare. ~Japanese proverb

I want to take hold of the beautiful things I can see in my mind’s eye and bring them to fruition. On the other hand, I don’t want to waste my life doing meaningless things and then be filled with regret and resentment that I let the opportunity to do something marvelous slip away.

I can show you a picture of action without vision.

You might remember when I had to spend days digging out zebra grass that I fell in love with in the gardening center and then planted without any real vision whatsoever. I was not clear. There was no clarity on what the outcome would be.

That zebra grass was lovely. I still like zebra grass. In its place. It only took a couple of years, however, for this zebra grass to overshadow every other single thing in that garden. It grew too big. It fell over onto other things. In the heat of our North Carolina summer, the blades of that zebra grass scraped and cut my arms as I tried to crawl around under it and work to find my other plants.

In the big scheme of things, the zebra grass was a small thing. (Don’t tell my back I said that.) What about when it comes to my children, though? I expect that the qualities I want to see in my children as adults need to be worked in while the soil is soft and workable. In other words, while they are in my home and under my parental authority. This is the time to take action. With vision.

I’ll stop there with that thought, because there are so many ways in which it can be applied, from making sure Princess of the Universe does plenty of nature drawing every week (I know what I want the outcome to be) to making a horrible financial decision that changes my ability to homeschool.

I hope you enjoy that quote as much as I have.

The violet in the terrarium is blooming like crazy. I’m sorry this is blurry. I had the flash off. Can you see the trails on the glass where a slug has been crawling all over the place? It’s better than T.V.

The little puppy watches over the valley as the violet blooms high on the hill above him.

It’s raining here today, and cold. A picture taken last week shows many lilies coming through the ground behind the Veronica umbrosa. After the rain this week, everything is going to come out full speed ahead towards spring. This is the way of things here every year. I just hope we do not have a killing frost once things really start to pop.

A little hint of more beautiful things to come. Enjoy this day.

Lynn

Clarity

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 02:29:03 +0000

Clarity. My word for 2009. It kept coming to mind, no matter how hard I tried to think of another word. So clarity it must be.

There are ways that it can seriously be applied. To me.

Oddly enough, in trying to explain why clarity is my word for 2009, an acrostic came to mind.

C – carefully
L – looking
A – at
R – reasons,
I – ideas,
T – thoughts,
Y – yourself

Something you may not know about me. I can be impulsive. I get myself into trouble sometimes by doing things for no good reason. Or, maybe a better way to say it is that I carelessly abandon something that was being done for a very good reason to do something else for less of a good reason.

I sometimes chase after thoughts or ideas that swim through my mind, and it’s not always good because I should have been staying right where I was, finishing what was more important. Maybe I’m a lot like Pooh Bear in that sense.

It’s also been on my heart lately to pay attention to how I am presenting myself to my children, my husband, and others. Question to self: are you behaving yourself in a manner that lines up with what you really believe?

Lynn

The Colors of Winter

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 20:45:41 +0000

Quick walk through the garden this morning. Sleeping plants. Dead stems and branches. I pull my shawl tighter around my shoulders.

Cold this morning. Frosty.

The colors of winter stare at me. Hundreds of shades of brown. Almost black. Wintery whites. Could be silver if you stand just right. Some green. Pretty especially the pale green.

How can three colors be so varied? Copious thoughts fill my mind — things that should be in my garden journal. Must work on my nature sketches. So must my daughter.

In my mind’s eye I see a room gorgeously decorated in just three colors. A multitude of browns, wintery whites and pale greens. I want to be there.

I emerge from the tangle of thoughts of colors and remember my word for 2009. Clarity.